True Hallucinations

Hope these words are not cold To you

Life in Perspective

For those still learning
this puts it all into words
perfectly. I call it the "True Hallucinations "
"life Crisis."
It is when you stop
going along with the crowd and
start realizing that there are a lot of
things about yourself that you
didn't know and may or may not like.
You start feeling insecure and wonder where
you will be in a year or
two, but then get scared because you barely
know where you are now.
You start realizing that people are selfish
and that, maybe, those
friends that you thought you were
so close to aren't exactly the
greatest people you have ever met and
the people you have lost touch
with are some of the most important ones.
What you do not realize is that they are realizing
that too and are not really cold or catty or mean
or insincere, but that they are as
confused as you. You look at your job.
It is not even close to what
you thought you would be doing or maybe you are
looking for one and realizing that you are going
to have to start at the bottom and are
scared. You miss the comforts of college,
of groups, of socializing
with the same people on a constant basis.
But then you realize that
maybe they weren't so great after all.
You are beginning to understand yourself and what you want and do not
want. Your opinions have gotten stronger.
You see what others are
doing and find yourself judging a bit more than usual because suddenly
you realize that you have certain boundaries
in your life and add
things to your list of what is acceptable and what is not. You are
insecure and then secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of
your life. You feel alone and scared and confused.
Suddenly change is
the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life but soon
realize that the past is drifting further and further away and there
is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.
You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do
such damage to you or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet
anyone decent enough to get to know better.
You love someone but maybe
love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this
because you are not a bad person.
One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap and getting
wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go
through the same emotions and questions over and over and talk with
your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a
decision.
You worry about loans and money and the future and making a life for
yourself and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd
just like to be a contender! What you may not realize is that **
everyone ** reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times
and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole
thing out.

"Please dont feel bad its not you whozz to blame "